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Fear suffocates. Neglect abdicates. Surrender liberates.

Ephesians 6 offers more than just “house rules, it describes relationships shaped by the gospel. Faith in Christ reshapes life in community, addressing husbands and wives, children and parents, workers and leaders. The heart of the matter is a matter of the heart.

Ephesians 6:1-9 (NLT) reveals that full surrender is the key to opening hearts—the “open sesame” of relationships.

The goal is enthusiastic surrender to the loving lordship of Jesus. This surrender we initate will enable the attitudes and actions we hope to see reciprocated

Fear Suffocates
Neglect Abdicates.
Surrender Liberates.

Workplace Application: Leading with the Gospel
Fear isn’t just toxic at home; it poisons the workplace, too. Environments driven by insecurity and control stifle trust, creativity, and growth. The gospel-centered way of leading at work is radically different: it’s leading through Christ, like Christ, and for Christ.

• Gospel-centered leadership in Ephesians 6:9:
• Practice mutuality (mutual respect) (“treat your slaves the same way”).
• Avoid hostility (“don’t threaten them”).
• Christ-centered accountability (remember both have the same Master in heaven).
• Remember God’s impartiality (“God has no favorites”).

Takeaway: The true boss is Christ—lead with sincerity, heart, and surrender the results to Him. Even in hard environments, Paul’s message is clear: it’s not your job title, but your heart that matters. Transfer your allegiance to Christ, your ultimate Master, and let that shape the way you lead and serve.

I suggest you read this declaration aloud with confidence every Sunday or Monday morning as you begin a new week of parenting.

I am a thoughtful, decisive, honorable, hardworking parent who is committed to raising children who love God, respect authority, and value what’s right. I provide guidance, leadership, and wisdom for my sons and daughters. I clearly understand it’s my job to teach my children right from wrong. I take full responsibility for their training. I will lead with love,
laughter, grace, forgiveness, boundaries, and consistency. I spend time with my child instead of catching up on my phone or watching TV.

I understand I am raising a future adult. I am not afraid to make unpopular decisions for the eternal good of my child. I will not allow my child to be addicted to phones or tablets. I will limit screen time. I will serve nutritious food and ensure my children get regular exercise. I insist my children demonstrate respect for me and other adults such as teachers, pastors,
and coaches. I teach my children to value marriage and desire the blessing of having a family of their own. I pray and read the Word of God to gain direction for my life.

I will not make excuses. I will not wallow in guilt. I will not stop, shut up, back down, or waver in the face of opposition, discouragement, or pushback from my kids. I admit I am fully dependent on God and walk confidently with Him. I will rise to do my best to raise my children to honor God and will leave the results in His hands.

Practicing Honor in Everyday Life
What we elevate is what we celebrate.

Honor is not dependent on whether others are honorable; we honor because we choose to be honorable.

Dishonor reveals more about our own insecurities than about the inconsistencies of others

Surrender: Love that Liberates

Whether in parenting or leadership, surrendering control is the gateway to genuine connection and growth. Fear suffocates, but gospel-centered surrender liberates.

As you reflect on your own experiences, ask: What do I need to release to follow Jesus more fully— in my family, my workplace, and my heart?

Are my relationships marked by fear, neglect, or gospel surrender?

Here's a simple prayer: God my kids are yours. I give them to you. You love them more than I do, which is so hard to imagine how that’s possible. Show me how to love them as you do.

Will you repent from past patterns of dishonor?

Will you surrender to the liberating authority of Jesus Christ?

Ephesians 6:1-9 provides a rich foundation for discussion on relationships, surrender, fear vs. neglect, and the application of honor in both work and family settings, using the concept of full surrender as the "open sesame" for closed hearts.

The "Open Sesame" of Surrender
1. The passage suggests full surrender to Christ's lordship is the "open sesame" for relationships. What does "full surrender" look like practically in a relationship where you feel you need to "fix" the other person or the situation?

2. Pastor Joe said, "Fear suffocates, neglect abdicates, but surrender liberates." In which area of your life—work, family, or personal—do you most often feel the weight of trying to control things (fear) or completely checking out (neglect)?

3. The concept of surrender involves "going first" with counterintuitive actions like loving enemies or blessing those who curse you. Can you share a time when taking such a "go first" action—even a small one—changed the dynamic of a difficult relationship?

Fear, Control, and the Gospel in Parenting and Leadership
1. The example of "The Great Santini" highlights how a desire for control and fear-driven behavior can be destructive at home. In your own parenting or leadership style, which is the greater temptation: control/fear (trying to mold others in your image) or neglect/disengagement (failing to lead or set boundaries)?

2. Ephesians 6:4 tells fathers to "educate, don't exasperate" their children. The text suggests listening is love, not lecturing. How can you be more intentional about listening and connecting with a child or subordinate at their level, as Christ does with us?

3. Regarding the workplace, gospel-centered leadership is defined by mutuality, avoiding hostility, Christ-centered accountability, and remember God's impartiality (Ephesians 6:9). Which of these is the hardest for you to consistently practice as a leader or co-worker, and why?

The Liberating Power of Honor
1. Honor is described as giving weight and value to others, and as the "cure for neglect." What is one specific, practical way you can show honor this week—at home or at work—by "transferring your allegiance to Christ" (serving Him above all)?

2. The "101 principle" suggests finding the 1% you value in another person and giving 100% effort to honor that aspect. Who is a difficult person in your life right now, and what is the 1% you can honestly appreciate and honor them for?

3. Pastor Joe emphasizes that honor is not dependent on whether others are honorable, but on our choice to be honorable. How does this perspective change how you view a relationship with someone who you feel has repeatedly dishonored you?

Wrap-up and Next Steps
1. The final prayer encourages you to surrender your children to God, recognizing He loves them even more than you do. What is one relationship result—in your family, workplace, or elsewhere—that you need to surrender to God this week, instead of trying to control?

2. Reflect on the two closing questions:
"Will you repent from past patterns of dishonor?"
"Will you surrender to the liberating love of Jesus?"

Which of these two challenges feels more immediate and necessary for you right now?